My ability to open a bottle of champagne on my wedding day notwithstanding, I am terrified of champagne corks. This fear has been the subject of many tweets, a blog post, and one in-person reading at Blog Out Loud. I have even tried to find Champagne gadgets that might remove the problem.
It was with little hope of success then, that I approached The Final Touch Champagne Bottle Opener, a gift from my Twitter friend, @PrincessDoubt (she hung on to it for me for a year, randomly carrying it around with her in the hopes of a successfuly delivery. That is true kindness!). I had never seen this particular gadget in any store and so I’m grateful for friends looking out for me. An internet search revealed its availably online from such sites as Amazon.
It’s a plastic gadget, with simple instructions attached and a very phallic look (there really is no other way to say it). The instructions for use make it even more suggestive: hold the bottle and gadget at a 45 degree angle, wrap one hand firmly around the neck, twist the head and…. pop!
If you can get past giggling like a twelve years old as you handle it, this gadget does contain the cork’s explosive force as it is ejected from the bottle; safely capturing the projective in its cap.
It does not, however, remove my fear nor contain my “squeak” as the cork pops. More therapy is clearly required.